1. You haven’t eaten an inside piece of bread from your 100% Whole Grain loaf since 2005.
2. You have more pairs of comfortable slippers around the house than Monolo Blahniks.
3. You can’t remember the last time you slipped on that ‘little black dress’ in your closet, the one that all the fashion magazines insist that ‘every girl just has to have’.
4. You get as excited to throw a new coat of color on your bedroom wall as you did when you boarded the plane for your honeymoon to Hawaii.
5. Your dog, who used to be the center of attention on weekends, is no longer first string (pre-child #1), second string (child #2), or third string (pretty much everything else that comes along with managing multiple kids, jobs and social calendars, including washing the car).
6. Discussions during “Girl’s Night Out” with your friends no longer revolve around great shopping finds at etsy or LivingSocial, but are focused on stories about potties, sleeping through the night, and bowel movements.
7. You spend more time re-caulking bathrooms and cleaning up urine around the base of the toilet than you used to spend primping in front of the mirror before a hot date.
8. Your gym membership hasn’t seen regular action since the Bush administration was in office.
9. The last time you looked down and saw perky, beautiful, un-lopsided breasts was around the turn of the century.
10. You can’t think of anyplace you’d rather be, or anything you’d rather be doing, than having a lazy morning with your energetic kids, hair disheveled husband and fourth-string dog.
-What signs have you come across? Leave us a comment below, we want to hear yours too!
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